Split Personality

N: You will go to hell, you stupid lesbian!

are you even listening to yourself? 2

J: OMG they're playing L4D!
N: Who?
J: Adam!
N: Oh, I know.
J: ... Did you just say "who?"
N: No.
J: Then what did you say?
N: Oh... Yeah.

Part 1 here.

Hmm, L might be secretly bisexual.

L: I spotted cleavage then A wrap like tube
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L: He never wear tee
L: I got a thing for shoulders

Google Search

N: Taurus usually got problems in the neck. Aries usually got brain damage.
J: Huh! Virgo leh?
N: I don't know leh.
J: Go search leh.
N: Do I look like Google to you?!
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J: My little search engine!!! You're the answer to my everything :D
N: -.-

Dirty Minds!

Please guess what they were doing...

J.O: You want me to wear for you?
S: Yeah, because you take off for me.
J.O: Okay, which hole?
S: TOO TIGHT TOO TIGHT!
J.O: Huh okokok...
S: YOU NEVER POKE!
J.O: Okok!!! This one ah??
S: AIYA YOU HALFWAY LET GO!!!


(scroll down for answer)

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Assessments drive you crazy

S otp with L...

S: Should I choose blue for this page?
S: Hmm...
S: Okay, I shall choose blue
S: Sorry, you don't have much of a choice
L: ...

Sexuality Issues

S: Tell her that i'm straight.
L: HAH.
S: WHY YOU HAH!
L: are you even listening to what you're saying?
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S: What if i'm really straight?
L: ...
S: Okay la okay la i'm so not straight. CB

Thats why you're our SM mascot

Half beer lady, Half slut :(

Lucky Saggis

Talking about Singles Mansion...

S: Adam and me platonic. He can go have sex with Louisa.
J.O: Omg! Then me and Louisa can scandal also!
S: WAH! She hot topic sia. All want her.
J.O: But no cannot! Our scandals only in Play.
J.O: Yalor! Lucky sia Louisa!
S: Really Saggis, ONS.

Schizo much?

(Waiting for KFC delivery & phone rings)
J: Hello?
Man: Hi, Mr Chua?
J: (in very sian voice) Wrong number. *kup*
N: Who's that?
J: Ask for Mr Chua, hur.
N: It's KFC!
J: Huh? KFC?
N: Yes lah!
(phone rings again)
N: Pick up! KFC!
J: *picks* Hello?
Man: Hi, KFC delivery, is this Mr Chua?
J: (politely) Yes?
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J: *hangs up* Later the man think I split personality.

Confessional Booth

W: Wahlao, I only say she cute only, you all like that.
J: No, you said she was damn hot--
W: Yah, actually she's damn hot lah, hahahaha!

Amne-what?

J (to AC): Your birthday pass already a not ah?
AC: Yahlah you were there what!
E: Haha, J, amnesia ah. Like that Britney Spears song...
J: Oh ya hor.
E: Eh, that song how to sing ah?

Taboo

W: You go Genting you can sit what?
S: Mountain!
J.O: Roller Coaster!
W & J.O: Mountain?! LOL
S: I heard "see".
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S: Okay, the one that lesbians use!
J.O: Finger!
S: No! Hahaha!
W & J.O: Dildo!
S: NOOOO!
W: Vibrator!
S: Shorter is?
W: VIBRATE!
S: YESSSSSSSSSS!

Gosh, extra info!

At the dimsum restaurant...

S: We order veggie okay?
J.O: Okay, my shit these days very black.

Lesson One: Being Subtle

AC: I ask you ah... Am I very flirt?
J: Um... You're just a Pisces lor.
AC: CHEEBYE!

Perversity

Alterego

PLATONIC, PLZ.

Cyber sex

Dim sum is the new sex

S: isit the one that u pointed out to me the other time?
J.O: YES YES THAT ONE. NEAR ZOUK ONE.
S: YESYESYES THERE THERE
J.O: YESYESYES AROUND THERE
S: OMG WE BOTH YES UNTIL VERY SONG SIA. ITS ONLY DIMSUM.
J.O: OMG I ALSO SAY

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Approximately half a year ago, J & N sleeping together (NOT SEX HOR) for the first time...

N: You took off your contacts already ah?
J: Yup.
N: (moves closer, like 1 inch away from J's face) Can you see me?!
J: Yes. I'm short-sighted, not blind.

-.-

J: I got Cornetto you want?
N: Huh? Konek?!
J: CORNETTO!
N: Haha! (points to J) Konek Toh!

Good use of words

N: My down there damn cheebye sia.

Mascotsss

Hello everyone,

Who is hardworking enough to locate my ostrich picture to add to the Gallery of SM Mascots?

Easter is the new April Fool's

N: Today is Easter, my Easter bunny!!! (turns and look at Cino who is nua-ing in her cage.)
Cino: (twitch)

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-J searching for Easter Rabbit photos on Google-
J: Dont they have any real rabbits?
N: Tsk, use Cino's photo luh.
J: Where?
N: Photobooth.
J: -types Photobooth.com in the address bar-













J & N: (jaw drops)
N: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
J: Did you say Photobucket?
N: NO. PHOTOBOOTH. WHAT IS PHOTOBOOTH.COM?!

Macbook Sex

J.O: We shall have a macbook fathering!
J.O: Eh, gathering*. Fathering, wth.
S: Wah wah wah, our macbooks have sex with each other.
J.O: I wonder how that happens.
S: Pluck in Usb.
J.O: Hahaha, connecting right? ;)

Kao pei songs.

N: I just download 3Oh!3. Damn kaopei but I think you will like.
J: Huh? What type of kaopei.
-N plays the songs-
J: You like?
N: No, do you like?
J: Huh. You dont like?
N: Do YOU like?
J: YEAH! hehehehehe.

Oversensitive Siren

Loud music blasting in the club...

A: Don't push the door, pull, don't push! Don't push!
S: Huh? *push the door*
A: I told you don't push the door already! Pull!
S: Oh? I heard butch butch butch.
S: Then I was looking around what butch? Where!?
J: Aiyo, S ah.

High on alcohol

S: *talking to J and N* Is that handphone motorola?
J.O: *suddenly turn around* I don't know, I cannot tell.

I "believe" you

S: Why so drama?
J.O: I not drunk.

Fireman in the house

S: Book out then wear your suit and meet Louisa.
S: Use your hose and attack her thighs!
A: HAHAHA MY HOSE AH?
A: LONG LONG BIG BIG ONE
A: SPRAY HER FACE!!

Virual Single's Mansion aka Facebook

Comments on a certain picture from last night..

A: Yay Jolene, how is the ignoring going? (referring to JOng)
JT: What ignoring???
S: or rather, which Jolene? HAHA.
JT: Okay, I forgot I'm not the only Jolene.

Food

E & I were talking about a certain ex-boyfriend of his that broke up with him because he wanted to "turn straight".

E: He can go eat some cheebye pie.
A: No, I choke him with my cock.
E: No comments.
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A: Cockmeat sandwich, yummy!

Adam's apple nipple...

J: Raisin!
AC: Seed!
N: Ya! Seed!
A: No! Green bean seed!

Savior

J.O: Call me! I got a life and death question!
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J.O: *picks up S's call* HELLO!
S: Hi, this is life and death hotline speaking. How may I help you?
J.O: Huh? HAHAHAHA.

Mac-tarded

J.O: You own a macbook right?
S: Yes I do.
J.O: It's just the normal macbook right?
S: Yes, it doesn't fly. It doesn't eat me. It's just a normal mac.
J.O: Omg! Hahaha, so retarded!
S: Yayyyyy! Welcome to the Mac Family!

2 completely different things.

(1st day of the time of the month.)
J: Cramps, baby!!!!!!!!
N: CRANBERRIES!!!!!!!!

MC+Chew 4eva

(in car, Mariah Carey singing "I Stay In Love" on radio.)
J: Who's Chew?
N: Huh? Who's Chew?
J: I dunno... She keep saying, "I stay in love with chew." :x
N: Babe... Can you don't do this to me when I'm driving?

Newbs

(16 y/o JH laughing.)
AC: OMG who is that kid laughing?!
C: My girlfriend lah!
(JH laughs louder.)
AC: Wahlao, she sounds so... new.

小大学生

(N walking the other way)
J: Babe, Shop N Save!
N: So fierce for what!
J: Where got fierce!
N: I uni student okay!
J: Okay lah, sorry I scared my little 大学生 (uni student).

Rain rain go away.

J: AHH! LIGHTNING!
J: AHH! I'M WET!
J AHH!
J: I'M GOING TO DIE! LIGHTNING!
N: You want to call me when you reach downstairs my house? You holding so many things.
J: No! I want you to hear how I die! AHHH!
N: I'll be deaf by then.
J: AT LEAST YOU WILL BE ALIVE!
N: Yeap, nothing would matter if you died right?
J: AHH! FLOOD! MY WHOLE SHOE IS WET!!
N: Lol!
J: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING! LATER I SHOW YOU MY SHOE.


J: Ok. I look like I just went into a car wash. Without a car.

Joo wrong.

AC: Cy, your girlfriend stay where?
C: Pioneer.
AC: Where's that?!
N: Eh, hello, no more Boon Lay last stop already!
AC: Ya what! Jurong!
All: Joo Koon!
AC: Yahlah then you say Ju... Wait, what she say?

Dont judge a book by it's prank.

-After playing pranks on Soot's new ____-

CST: See luh! She angry already!
N: Eh. Where got people so petty one!
CST: She very petty one!
AC: -indignantly- Now you know what kind of person she is. It's not too late yknow?

In all honesty.

-Both sister and I were looking very lost watching some stupid taiwan show-

N to V: What is 咖啡zha (SP!?!?!) ?
V: I have no idea.
N: But you took Higher Chinese.
V: Which I usually pass by 3 marks.

Paranoid

N: I'm going to update Singlesmansion.
J: Oh. Oh no. Uh. Am I supposed to be scared?

15th Feb 09

Such an awesome example of BFF love, it deserves a spot in this blog.

Communication breakdown 2: OH MY SADNESS.

N: I'm so sad.
J: Huh? I'm so fat?
N: I'm so sad...
J: I'm so sad?
N: I AM so sad........
J: Why am I sad?
N: I AM sad!
J: You're sad?
N: Yes! I'm sad!
J: Huh? I'm sad?
N: I'm sad!
J: Oh. You're sad..

Let's Stay Here

F and I were on the way home late at night from school on the bus, 157.

A: M stays there!
(a few stops later)
F: L stays there!
A: That means J also stays here right?!
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(after people alight and there's space in front of us)
F: Should we move? Okay we stay here lah.
A: For what? I like staying in Jurong!
F: No I mean this spot.
A: Oh.
F & A: HAHAHHAAHAHAHA.

Who's that man?

J : I think friday i going arts house
N : Who is art?

Obama is not Osama

J : Ofcos Osama will understand
N : Osama is same religion
S : Ya what! Obama is not jewish
All : HAHAHAHA
S : Did I just said Obama? Omg.
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N : *to J* Give me your phone, I want to save what she said
S : Okok! I ownself uplate
All : UPLATE HAHAHAHAHAHA.
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N: Eh, you "uplate" already a not!
S: HAHAHA YOU SAID "UPLATE"!
N and J: YOU said "uplate"!
S: Oh, I did ah?

I Turn My Camera On

Blair on TV: I am a seagull.
J (to N): Seagull!!!
N: I am not a seagull!
J: You should be proud! They named a camera after you!
N: ... Pinhole!!!
J: O.o
N: You're made out of cardboard and duct tape.

Twitter Has New Functions

A: Ehh how come you're using Twitter Search?
N: You also what?
A: No leh, I use Twhirl what.
N: Your cheebye came from Twitter Search also.

Did You Know?

She was watching the Did You Know? video and on Skype.

N: Shit, MySpace is bigger than Singapore.
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N: It's bigger than my country, our country.
A: You sound so patriotic suddenly.