Except(ion)

Singing to Wang Lee Hom

W: Baby, 你就是我的… No you're not.

J: D:

F doesnt make things any better.

J: W wanna snatch my rainbow flag from me lor.
W: Where got snatch? I already confessed to you already mah.
J: So you only want me for my flag lah?!
W: Aiyo how you know.
J: Yahlor, I'm the one with the boyfriend mah hor.
F: Haha yayaya.
J: But I'm not gay, my boyfriend is hor.
F: Correct correct.

Penis!

On the bus

W: We very long never play the Penis game (à la 500 Days of Summer).

J: No, I'm not playing with you.

W: Maybe I should get AC to play the Penis game with me... Okay, that came out wrong.

.

.

.

In the car

AC: Penis.

J: Penis!

AC: PENIS!

J: PENIS!!!

W: VAGINAAAAAA!!!!

J (to AC): She's sooo lesbian.

AC: I also say.

J: And you're so gay.

The (2nd) Confession

W: Do you think I'm straight?

J: I already know you're not.

W: What if one day I tell you I like a girl?

J: I wouldn't be surprised

(goes on for another 10 minutes)

W: Really ah, you wouldn't be surprised?

J: Nope.

W: J, I like you.

J: This is not the first time you confessed to me. Hold my hand leh.

English 101 with W

W's translation for "吞不下那口气": Swallow that saliva.

Homeless Chic

F: I look like a hobo!

J: Homo hobo!

F: You are half a hobo!

J: I'm a ho! ... Shit.

Product Testing

感情才会… 旧？

C: 来，我们一人一半。

W: 可是我不要跟你感情不散。

But I'm not gay, my boyfriend is...

A (to W): Eh, straight one, hahaha you don't have rainbow flag.

W: I'm not the one with the boyfriend.

Downloading .. 99%

A: idk who he is
he followde me

J.: u should dl this band called fun.
"fun."

A: but nvm he macam cool so i downloaded him
EH
I MEAN
FOLLOWED

Who eat your what?

J: I dragon leh.

AC: I tiger leh. China men eat my penis.

Fireman Dreams by JT

This was an entry in 2007 on Adam's LiveJournal.

joyce: how many inch is yours?
adam: -looks down-
joyce: no lah your laptop lah.
adam: -continues looking down-

And below are the comments that follow.

JT: why are you keep us in suspense, asshole.
A: You want to know, you pay me money and I will be your personal stripper. How bout your birthday? Heh.
JT: lmao birthday present la wahlao
A: HAHAHA GOOD POINT. Okay can. I dress up as a male stripper. Who dyou want me to be, oh master?
JT: hmm, fireman.
A: Whao, with the hose, or my hose? HEH HEH.

Sandy Claws

AC: Christmas is coming, you know?

J: Don't even think about it.

AC: Santa's gonna give you something, not me.

J: Do you see Santa every morning when you look in the mirror?

AC: Yeah.. I always see a jolly fat man. *looks down at tummy*

Leopard never changes its...

Explaining to AC that leopard and cheetahs look very similar, slight difference in their spots.

AC: Huh, really meh? No what.. Leopard never changes its stripes, remember... EH?!?!

Will

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:28 PM):
fauzi

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:28 PM):
can u imagine

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
i put in my will

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
i donate my organs right

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
if accident or whatever

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
i give fauzi my womb

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
AHHAHAHA

euphoria. says (4:29 PM):
HAHAHAHAHA WTF

It Has Been A Year

J: OMG. Was it almost a year ago the Indian guys grabbing the supposed trannie, then it was all over Youtube?
A: YES! LOL!
J: ONE YEAR ALREADY AH?
A: Almost!
J: Wah lao eh. Aiyoh skanky Asian sluts. Sometimes I wish I was a guy.. so I can take my dick and slap their slutty faces. (Y)

Requiem For Star Wars

D: So what movie were you watching last night?
A: Requiem For A Dream, and Closer (for the eighth time).
D: Requiem for a dream.. Star Wars ah???
A: LOL
D: Closer? It's a gay movie?

Dirty talk.

Kerr.

AM 02:29 YES OFCOURSE

AM 02:29 WITH LYCHEE IN YR MOUTH

AM 02:29 YOU LIKE IT

AM 02:29 YOU LIKE IT?

AM 02:29 YEAH

AM 02:29 FUCK YEAHHHH

AM 02:29 okeh freaky

AM 02:29 i take that back

AM 02:30

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur.

AM 02:30 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Kerr.

AM 02:30 hi

A & J in their own world.

A: What are you talking about? We're married already, darling.

J: Oh yah hor, you're my husband now.

F (to AC): Okay lah, then we be sex buddies.

AC: OKAY CA... ._.

iCelibate

J: *past minute trying to insert usb charger into iPhone in the dark* Eh, I too long never have sex issit, why cannot find the hole!?