Sandy Claws

AC: Christmas is coming, you know?

J: Don't even think about it.

AC: Santa's gonna give you something, not me.

J: Do you see Santa every morning when you look in the mirror?

AC: Yeah.. I always see a jolly fat man. *looks down at tummy*

Leopard never changes its...

Explaining to AC that leopard and cheetahs look very similar, slight difference in their spots.

AC: Huh, really meh? No what.. Leopard never changes its stripes, remember... EH?!?!

Will

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:28 PM):
fauzi

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:28 PM):
can u imagine

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
i put in my will

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
i donate my organs right

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
if accident or whatever

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
i give fauzi my womb

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur. says (4:29 PM):
AHHAHAHA

euphoria. says (4:29 PM):
HAHAHAHAHA WTF

It Has Been A Year

J: OMG. Was it almost a year ago the Indian guys grabbing the supposed trannie, then it was all over Youtube?
A: YES! LOL!
J: ONE YEAR ALREADY AH?
A: Almost!
J: Wah lao eh. Aiyoh skanky Asian sluts. Sometimes I wish I was a guy.. so I can take my dick and slap their slutty faces. (Y)

Requiem For Star Wars

D: So what movie were you watching last night?
A: Requiem For A Dream, and Closer (for the eighth time).
D: Requiem for a dream.. Star Wars ah???
A: LOL
D: Closer? It's a gay movie?

Dirty talk.

Kerr.

AM 02:29 YES OFCOURSE

AM 02:29 WITH LYCHEE IN YR MOUTH

AM 02:29 YOU LIKE IT

AM 02:29 YOU LIKE IT?

AM 02:29 YEAH

AM 02:29 FUCK YEAHHHH

AM 02:29 okeh freaky

AM 02:29 i take that back

AM 02:30

Unfortunately cœur rhymes with douleur.

AM 02:30 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Kerr.

AM 02:30 hi

A & J in their own world.

A: What are you talking about? We're married already, darling.

J: Oh yah hor, you're my husband now.

F (to AC): Okay lah, then we be sex buddies.

AC: OKAY CA... ._.

iCelibate

J: *past minute trying to insert usb charger into iPhone in the dark* Eh, I too long never have sex issit, why cannot find the hole!?

"insanity is not a taurus trait."

A day early.

F: Eh you know I went for my medical checkup right... You know what? I got HIV. FML.

J: It's not April Fools' Day yet.

F: HAHAHAHAHAH HAPPY ADVANCED APRIL FOOLS!

He just wanted McNuggets.

F vs J

i hope i got gay mat

then i ask "are you thirsty. then give him a spiked drink"

AHAHAHAHA

share my hotcakes

WOO hotcakes!

so suggestive

zomg!

nice one

would you like to errr... wash my vegetable?

aiya i dunno la

so difficult

would u like some... maple syrup?

walao you so good

I KNOW

I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK

or would you like to undress my MAcchicken?

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

FAUZI

ur pickup lines are epic

i really dunno what? !!!

so difficult sia

haiyoh u need lessons

101 on dirty talking

choose food item

make sure it can be kinky

k k i try chilli

do you think the chilli is wrong? I ORDERED GARLIC CHILLI YOU DUMB ASS. NOT CURRY

is that ur pickup line

i dunno omg

i give up

walao i fail sia. no wonder single

Telling her I felt drunk...

S: Guys eat beansprouts cum will be very thick ah?

A: Really meh? I don't know leh...

(everyone ponders)

A: Yay, K coming back tomorrow!

Self-Explanatory

Strong fingers eh?

Blondes, little girls and MILFs.

S: I like dirty blondes.
J.T: You like your blondes dirty?

.
.
.

L: Little IJ girl!
J.O: Confirm become lesbian one.
J.T: Yeah, or slut.
J.O: Yeah, maybe she should start now.

.
.
.

J.O: Oh, L, you like SA girls ah?
S: No, L like all kinds of girls.

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.
.

S: Wah, Alessandra...
J.T: Yeah, milf. Siala, they look at the daughters, we look at the moms.

Angelic & Shy.. yeah right.

L: I sound like a man meh?
J: No ah, you just speak very soft lor.
L: OMG you say I speak softly! I'm demure!

Conflict of the Stars

JO: Aries/Taurus how ah? Aries like to play, but Taurus can commit.
JT: Commited to playing lor.

.
.
.

JO: Then Virgo/Libra leh?
JT: Virgo like to stay home, Libra like to go out. So I go out to N's home lor.

90's were more fun

F: and in primary school, i was the head librarian
i was so garang i tell you

J: wahsay jealous
i alway wanted to chop chop the books

F: YA
chop chop the books
but now scan la girl

J: SHIT

Not if you're full bottom.

*discussing where the hymen is*
W (to 3 lesbians): Aiyah, no need to know where it is lah! Not like we ever have a vagina in our face.
.
.
.
W: Sorry, I forgot who I was.